I am so sorry that you are going through this pain – but this is SO common in budding relationships, according to Rori Raye. First he comes on strong, gets you attracted to him and gets your heart in his hand … then he pulls away and leaves YOU wondering what the heck happened.
Well, first of all, when he was the one pursuing you, you were doing what Rori Raye calls “leaning back” – you were making him take the steps toward you and to pursue you, which men LIKE to do.
In addition, it seems to me that he has been TELLING you that he does not want an exclusive relationship – he is moving, he has been hurt before, etc. YOU have also been hurt, and just maybe, you were starting to feel safe with him because you knew deep inside that he did not want a serious relationship, therefore he could not be a serious threat to your heart. But what happens it, you start to feel safe for him, and when you do, you allow yourself to fall in love with him.
So now what?
Well, in order to actually HAVE the relationship you want, you have to know what is out there. You must start dating other people. Your relationship with this man is undefined, he is moving away, he is becoming distant and he is on other dating sites. Why would you consider this relationship to be exclusive? It’s not. TAKE that opportunity to date other people.
By dating other people, you will expand your interests, the selection of men available to you, AND you will show THIS man that you are a hot commodity, and if he WANTS to be exclusive with you, he needs to EARN IT.
Then – there’s the talking and listening part. When a man says he’s not sure he’s “into you,” or “not feeling it for you,” RUN. Saying he loves you but isn’t ready yet for a serious relationship is WAY different than saying he’s “not sure of his feelings.” If he says he’s “not sure of his feelings”, that would be the cue to get out of there.
But - you don’t have to leave him completely – you can still DATE him. He may actually be feeling confused. But your sticking around while he figures it out will do you nothing but harm.
So – if this man felt safe by telling you that he was moving, he was not interested in a real relationship, etc, he felt safe when he felt that he had to really pursue you to get your interest. But then, when he HAD it, it freaked him out and he distanced himself.
So you need to get yourself out there and date other people. Show this guy that you are in demand, that you are not going to sit there and pine away for him and then maybe that will give him the impetus to understand his feelings and take action on them one way or another. Learn more in Rori Raye’s eBook Have the Relationship You Want.